Monday 16 March 2015

Knit, purl and knit again

So, just in time for the Jordanian spring I'm almost ready with my knitting-project, a thick scarf even taller than me, which I guess is not the hardest thing to accomplish. It is the biggest knitting project I've successfully completed (well, I'm not done yet so I know I shouldn't yell 'Hi' until I've crossed the river [Swedish proverb]), and I am not going to be able to use it in maybe eight months. 



Next project will be something more summer-friendly though, my plan is something light that I can use to cover up my shoulders with here in hot, but slightly strict, Jordan, but probably I will be done with it just in time for autumn.


Saturday 14 March 2015

Reading books

Three girls participating in a workshop approached me and Robert in a café a while ago asking some questions for a survey they were doing, and they asked us what inspires us more, movies or books? I thought for a while about the inspiring videos I've seen, or beautiful movies that have made me want to travel or take action in some cause. But really thinking about it, nothing can inspire and move me more than a book. The feelings I can get from a good book are more, profound, and they stay with me longer.

I'd forgotten how much I love to read books. I've thought for so long that I don't have time or energy to give to reading, but it seems as having only one computer in a household of two has been a blessing, particularly in combination with limited internet access. No more streaming of crappy series or browsing through meaningless websites for hours, because it is comfortable and, so I've thought, relaxing. In the last month I've now finished two books, of very different categories, and I don't miss New Girl, Big Bang Theory, Game of Thrones or Homeland at all. My only problem now is how I'm going to afford buying more books in a country that doesn't really have second hand shops or flea markets, or English paperbacks for that matter, and especially how heavy they are going to be in the suitcase when leaving Jordan.

This last book I read was one of those inspiring books, it is written by the same author as one of my favourite books, The End of Mr. Y, and I was anticipating something along the same lines, very philosophical and emotional but with a, to say the least, science fictional twist. But this time Scarlett Thomas left out the science fiction in Our Tragic Universe, which was slightly annoying only because I was waiting for it to appear through half of the book, and instead inserted some more.. spiritual aspects. Anyway, the book is about a female writer and her struggle in writing and life in general. It was a bit mind bending at times since the the main character is trying to write a book about  a writer writing and reading books, and she also reads a lot of books which are accounted for quite thoroughly. Even though there wasn't really a conventional plot, and in the beginning it was quite boring since it seemed like the book never really started, it turned out to be a really nice book, with characters I could identify with. In the book the characters discuss the concept of a "story-less story", a story that doesn't comply to the format of regular stories, where there is a problem that needs to be solves, a monster to be overcome or some kind of drama that needs to be resolved. This is also a concept that is used in the book, we simply visit the main character for a period of her life and get to follow her as she wanders around in life, dealing with everyday trouble, there is no real main plot, except her life. I came to like this concept so the only real down fall with the book was the ending. It seems like the author has felt forced to wrap things up and in some way provide a happy ending, if yet not a classical one. It seems rushed and unnecessary, when I for once didn't feel like a book needed to provide all the answers, tie all the loose ends together. I was actually happy with letting her go on her way, as I would be with a person I met briefly in real life. 


In one of the ways this book has inspired me, not surprisingly, is that I want to write more. I have always had that wish to write but maybe not the faith in myself, so I have this brilliant idea that might be a good start, which basically is to read even more books and try to write about them. Since I devour books in all categories (the previous book I read was the last in a trilogy about a group of teenage witches in high school) I think it is a good way to learn about different kinds of writing. And if anyone wants to hire me to review books, I would be more than happy to do the job! 

Tuesday 17 February 2015

Reprogramming humanity - amongst hatred and division in the.. world

At work they argue that human kind needs a new software, that we need to reset the whole system and start anew. Working in an office in Jordan you stay tuned in to all the terrible news that happens around the world. In contrast to people at home, in the west, they don’t seem numbed as each report of a new shooting or beheading is shouted out on the computer screen. Instead they seem tired, sad, resigned. 

I admire their solidarity with other muslims, arabs and with people in general, around the world. But I find myself equally numb as the general public in the west, as they tell me about their diminishing hope for mankind. I wonder how it is, that we have become so numb, so distanced from what is happening around the world. Some argue that it is due to constant exposure to horrid news, terrifying pictures. But here it is the same, and even worse, they do not take the same precautions when they edit the news, reality is shown in a different, more realistic, detailed and morbid way. They didn’t hesitate to show the whole video of the Jordanian pilot being burnt alive, while only screenshots of him in the cage was shown elsewhere.

The difference must be that so many here have lived it themselves, known the hardships of poverty, of war, of fleeing from a country, leaving all they know, seeking safety in an unknown place. It makes me sad though, that we have so little empathy for people, that even if we only see them on a screen, we can not suffer with them, because we have not suffered ourselves. 

Everything is so close here, to the south there is Egypt, which have faced political turmoil ever since the Arab spring. To the west there is occupied Palestine, from which the majority of Jordan’s population once have fled. To the north there is Syria, a country in raging civil war, on it's fourth year. To the east there is Iraq, a country that has been torn by war and conflict for as long as I can seem to remember, now battling the hostile takeover by ISIS. 

And in the middle there is Jordan. No wonder people so closely follow the news everyday, discussing the involvement of the Jordanian army in fighting ISIS with the coalition. And even though the conflicts haven’t spilled over in a sense that there is war and fighting here in Jordan, it has filled people’s minds. And every time they can breathe out and for a while forget to think about the conflicts, when the conflicts have temporarily reached a horrid kind of status quo, something escalates and the computer screens are again filled with flashing news of fighting, burnt villages or prisoners being held in steel cages. And I can see the weight weighing more heavily on their shoulders, the sighs growing ever more heavy. 

Yes, we need to reprogram humanity, if not so that everyone will stop fight and argue over such things as borders, nationality and religion, but at least so that we might feel some empathy for people even though they are not our next door neighbor. Then maybe, maybe, we would take action and stand in solidarity with people suffering no matter where in the world they live, and stop supporting the systems that make the world corrupt.

Sunday 1 February 2015

Picture day










Out walking yesterday I couldn't resist the view in the picture above, it was really inviting me to take a panorama picture. Reality doesn't really translate in the picture, but imagine it being muuch bigger, and all you see is hills upon hills covered with beige houses. 

This, is why I live here.



Lunch at work can on some rare days be a festive occasion like in the picture to the right. And no, everything is not vegan, but enough things are. And the spice on the potatoes in the upper left corner of the table, it is to die for, it is so.. savory. Oh, I'm hungry now.  


Our house! Two streets off 3rd circle you'll find this beautiful building with two Swedish residents in the basement.

Friday 30 January 2015

Chasing the internet

We're still without internet in the apartment so every weekend focuses on chasing cafés that have free internet and cheap, vegan food. Today we are at Shams el Balad, a vegetarian, part-organic café. Very cosy atmosphere, decent internet, and cheap food! 


Thursday 29 January 2015

"We had houses and lands, we had dreams"

A kind of throw-back-Thursday, because I found this old article I wrote when in Palestine last year that never got published, because of lack of things getting done.

"We had houses and lands, we had dreams. The occupation came and took all this from us and now we are refugees.”


We sit in an idyllic garden with fruit trees and birds chirping in the background. It offers a stark contrast to the story the man we are meeting is telling us. It is a story of occupation and a story of loss. Loss of land, loss of income, loss of a whole village’s history and loss of one mans hope and dreams.

Ahmad Barghouti, most known as Abu Nidal, has seven children. He and his wife Rabaa live in the small village of Al Walaja, outside Bethlehem. At 67 years old he is unemployed, like the rest of his family. He used to work in construction in Israel but no one in his family receives a permit to cross the border anymore. They rely on what they can reap from the garden and a small sum of money sent by one of his sons who work abroad. It is not enough.

As a child Abu Nidal lived with his family in the original village of Al Walaja. In 1948, when he was just one year old, the whole village had to flee when Israel occupied the area. Around 1 200 people were displaced. Most of them fled to Jordan, and the rest, like Abu Nidal, settled in the West Bank. Together they created a new village, the new Al Walaja. 66 years later, the population originating from the village has grown to 20 000 people in Jordan and around 2 500 in new Al Walaja.

When Abu Nidal talks about Israel and the displacement of his people, you can hear the bitterness in his voice. But he does not only blame Israel for that which has happened to them:

“The entire world helped in our displacement, Israel is nothing without the help of European countries. We are the victims of the United Nations.” 

He tells us that he believes that Israel is a victim of Europe as well, that they wanted to get rid of the “Jewish problem” by giving the Jews a state in Palestine. They tried with many other places before settling on Palestine, just to get them out of Europe, he says. Israel is also, according to Abu Nidal, manipulated by USA, who uses them as a kind of weapon, a frontline in the Middle East.

As he looks out over the valley, he points to the “green line”, the official border dividing the land between Israelis and Palestinians. On the other side of the border lays the rest of the land belonging to the original village of Al Walaja. Even though it is so close, it is seemingly lost forever for Abu Nidal and his neighbors.

As a refugee, the only land I have is this. They took 150 dunoms of my land for the Geilo settlement, 200 dunoms was confiscated to road building and all I had left was 40 dunoms.”

YMCA helped him plant 180 olive trees to be able to support himself by exporting olive oil to Europe. It did not take long until the Israeli army came and uprooted the olive trees, together with other fruit trees. Apples, apricots, figs and grapes. Without notice, without explanation, they just came and took his hope of a livelihood away. The plan was to use the land as a source of living for the family. He had 30 beehives, plenty of goats and a tractor to work the land. Now he has only a couple of beehives and six goats left. And the tractor is no longer allowed to enter the area.

“Israel is like a bulldozer that stretches it’s arm out and take all the land that it wants.”

Abu Nidal has lost a lot to Israel, but not his sense of humor, though it is a tad dark. When asked if he gets intimidated or abused by soldiers at his house, he answers with a hearty laughter:

“This house, it is the soldiers house, not mine. They’ve taken everything. Maybe one day, they will even take my wife!”

It is hard to not laugh with him, he has a contagious laughter, but he is serious. They have taken all but everything from him. Two thirds of the 40 dunoms Abu Nidal had left, is now on the other side of the apartheid wall. The wall is not yet built here, but it might as well be. A road cuts through the landscape where the wall is to be built and already now separates Abu Nidal from his land. He sighs and tells about how beautiful the view used to be, and about how his grandchildren used to come and play on the land.

“About a month ago my granddaughter was playing by the road, the Israeli army came and told her to move.“

It is not only his grandchildren that are forbidden access, he can not use the land for farming or to graze his goats. Abu Nidal’s mother, father and grandmother’s are buried in this land. The road was initially planned to go on top of the family grave. He went to the court and they approved to move the road, with the result that he lost more land. But at least, for now, he can visit the graves. He has a walk-through under the road, but it will be guarded with a gate when the wall is finished. He has yet to receive an answer on how often he will be able to go through the gate.

Abu Nidal is clear about what he thinks about Israel’s policies, it is apartheid. The wall is used to separate the Palestinian people, confiscate land and build settlements. The last phase of colonization. The way to Beit Jala, a nearby town, used to be five minutes, because of the wall it now takes 30 minutes. The villagers are afraid they may loose access to the town if the Israelis decide to build a gate in the wall to prevent them from passing. When the wall is finished they will live in an open-air prison, guarded by Israelis at the gates. It is, according to Abu Nidal, part of their plan to displace Palestinians and let only Israelis live in their land.

“Israel wants a Jewish state so it doesn’t want to place anyone who is not Jewish here; this is a high level of apartheid and racism.“

They demolished 40 houses in the village to build Israeli homes, some of the houses were even demolished twice. People build their houses again and again, even if it is torn down, because they have nowhere else to go.

“We are not allowed to build houses because we have a green ID [Palestinian ID]. We are treated only with bulldozers and demolitions.“

Palestinians water share in the area, according to Abu Nidal, is about 14 liters per day and person, while the Israelis share is 140 liters. They have underground water in their lands but they are not permitted by Israel to make use of it. Instead, the water goes straight to the Israeli settlements in the nearby area.

It is no doubt that Abu Nidal is a politically aware man. He talks about the boycott of Israel in Europe, he approves of the idea but at the same time feels ashamed that the Arabs are not supporting it. In Palestine the shops are full of Israeli products and he feels they are supporting them by buying and using the products. He believes that the people should stand in front of their governments. To put pressure on them so that they will boycott the occupation and stop supporting Israel so it’s economy will collapse. But resistance, small or big, is hard in Palestine. Those who have a permission to work in Israel will not participate, or let their children participate, in popular struggle such as demonstrations. The economical situation is so bad that they can not afford to loose their permits. Popular struggle also needs leadership, but there are no leaders here, Abu Nidal tells us:

“No one protects the ones who resist, even though it is their right to fight to end apartheid. /…/ Here we don’t have safety, even the Palestinian Authority is protecting Israel.”

Before answering the last question on how the personal impact has been upon the family, financially and emotionally, he pauses and gives up a tired chuckle before replying:

“I’ve got nothing left…”




To learn more about the village Al Walaja and Abu Nidal’s neighbours, you can see a short video, read a short text and see some pictures that illustrates the life in the village, just follow the links:


Tuesday 20 January 2015

Settling in

Yesterday we finally got to move in to our new den! I say ‘den' since the apartment is underground, partly. We have windows up by the ceiling, but to protect us from unwanted attention (wouldn’t want anyone to peek in while cooking and discovering our secret recipes, right?) the windows are covered with dark film. So we are a bit shielded from the world on “the surface” and are slightly blinded every time we climb up from the den. An upside to living on the downside though is that it is warmer in the winter and cooler in the summer! Something that we will definitely be grateful for in a couple of months. 

Even though the apartment is newly, and completely, renovated, we had some issues when we moved in and I had to do one of the things I hate most - ask the landlords to fix it. So far they’ve got us a kitchen table and fixed the flood in the bathroom, but they have still to fix the heating in the living room, the bathroom door (which won’t close), the three windows that can’t be locked and the closets, which are missing the bars you hang your hangers on. And they promised to help us getting internet in the apartment. But I guess we have to get used to doing (and expecting things to be done) in Jordanian time; slightly slower than we’re used to.

The apartment is really nice though, and so is Amman. We really enjoy the culture of eating falafel and hummus, with bread as your spoon, fork and knife, shopping your vegetables at the market down town, buying fresh bread at the bakery and going to smoky cafés. Yes, our lives revolve around food. But whose doesn’t?

Especially now when it is getting warmer life is quite enjoyable in Jordan. Just last week we huddled around a gas heater in the apartment we shared with four other expats. Covered in blankets, warm socks, scarfs, hoodies and all things warm that we could find. We couldn’t wash because it was so cold and humid inside so nothing ever dried. My shoes were wet for a week because I walked in slushy snow one day and I had to were plastic bags as socks to try to stay dry and somewhat warm.